realization or confusion?

its 12 at night, i'm looking at my phone with a lost stare

i wonder if you're waiting me standing there

i have been through a lot of suffering

my life is like a stupid video buffering

i think this realization is just too late

our love is not in my fate

i don't know how i feel

i need some help to deal

is it a realization?

or just a confusion?

i will be proud to tell this world that you are mine

now i realize, your love was so divine

i still regret & try to look alright

the truth is i cry badly each n every night

it never was & never will be

i am the reason for what'z happening to me

i'm loosing my faith & site

i wish for the last time i could hold close n tight

is it a realization?

or just a confusion?